Is President Barack Obama an American citizen?

Yes. If you think otherwise, please go jump off a cliff.

Hey, did I just hear something about Michael Jackson?

 Hey, sorry to bother you, but did I just hear you say something about Michael Jackson? The King of Pop? The fact that you mentioned him means he must have resurfaced in the news recently. I was just thinking to myself, I haven't heard anything about that guy since his last NAMBLA incident. What a weirdo, but man could he dance! The Moonwalk- remember that? How did he manage to walk backwards while looking like he should be walking forwards? Crazy!

Didn't he move to Bahrain, or something like that, to get away from all the paparazzi and kids' families who wanted to sue him? Was that before or after he dangled his little kid over the balcony in Germany? Those Germans- they didn't even think that was fucked up! I wonder if Hasselhoff could get away with that, probably could. 

Man, Michael Jackson. Nutjob. But you were saying something about him, that he did something, or what? Because I don't think anything Wacko Jacko would do could surprise me anymore. He could buy a seat on the next Russian Spaceship and jump out the door Moonwalking his way through the International Space Station and it wouldn't faze me.

But, sorry, I keep running on here, what were you saying about him? He died? Who died? Michael Jackson died? Really? Michael Jackson. Dead. For real? 

Huh. 

This Week's Great Moment in Politics- Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi

Fans of international politics have been privy to many hilariously pathetic incidents, and no one other than W has given the world more cynical joy than Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi. Already on his 3rd controversial term (non-consecutive), he has given politicos countless gems, such as:

Asking a couple of showgirls to marry him (for which his wife forced a public apology, with a letter to an opposition newspaper, when she couldn't get a private one), undergoing 12 legal trials (always getting off by acquittal or statute of limitations), claiming Mussolini "had been a benign dictator who did not murder opponents but sent them 'on holiday'", and playing hide-and-seek with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, where instead of receiving her on the official podium, he hid behind a column and called out "coo coo" as she walked by, to name just a few. Those who wish to know more about this successor to Caesar can simply google "Berlusconi, scandal" or "Berlusconi, clown" and find a fountain of reading.

Now, far be it for me to criticise a man who has, in the interests of gender equality, made the following two intelligent Italians a part of his Cabinet:

Now, to get to the point of today's entry. Italy suffered a 6.3 magnitude earthquake, resulting in the death of 289 people and leaving roughly 18,000 homeless. The medieval city of L'Aquila sustained significant damage to its great historical architecture, not to mention its more modern "earthquake-proof" universities and hospitals. With such damage done, in swoops Papa Berlusconi, to look after and comfort his affected people. While describing the situation that the residents had to deal with, he stated:

"They have everything they need, they have medical care, hot food...of course, their current lodgings are a bit temporary. But they should see it like a weekend of camping."

Then he directed his words to the affected themselves:

"Head to the beach. It's Easter. Take a break. We're paying for it, you'll be well looked after."

Just dynamite.